It’s Just Me…Naked in the Middle of the Room

“Having her work on display was as painful as standing naked in the middle of the room.”

That line is from my debut novel COLOR ME CRAZY. It describes how my character Addie feels as she suffers through a gallery showing of her art. She’s baring her soul, and people are casually wandering about looking at it while sipping drinks and shoveling tapas into their mouths. Well, they’re not looking at her soul. They’re examining it. Forming opinions about it. Judging its worth. And all Addie can do is stand there helpless. Feeling naked.

COLOR ME CRAZY is going to be released on May 19, 2014. When the date was set by the publisher, it seemed so far off…that thing that was going to happen, but not for a long time…like a kid going off to college. I didn’t worry too much about it. I was mostly thrilled. I was going to be a published author! All that hard work–the revisions, the editing, the querying–it was going to pay off, and I felt great.

But now I’m not feeling so great. I’m not feeling so victorious. In fact, I’m a little nervous.

That’s a lie.

I’m terrified.

It’s funny. I’ve written and published non-fiction for years. True stories about myself, my family, our lives. You’d think that would be fairly revealing, right? Ha! It was nothing. It was me being in complete and total control of what people saw. It was me in the best possible light.

Fiction is more honest. You cannot hide yourself when you write fiction. You can’t show yourself in the best possible light. Writing fiction is giving everyone permission to read your mind, explore every corner of your psyche, every kink and wrinkle of your imagination.

These are my thoughts when I’m alone in my head. This is you eavesdropping on my daydreams.

This is me standing naked in the middle of the room.

It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. It’s called COLOR ME CRAZY, and it’s coming soon, hopefully to an e-reader near you.